Is saying “NO” the best thing ?

Why are we failing to say “No”?

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No is a word which begins or ends an Empire. To be simple, all of us use this word very often in our daily life but it’s peculiar how we are replacing it with Yes where it has to be No & vice-versa. It is quite common that Yes keeps on revolving around and irritates our mind while we are going to say No. That is because our emotions keep on stopping us from making the right decisions. But, we should remember that at the end, our emotions become the victims of the decisions we take.

In this article I would like to tell you, why saying No is very important. It doesn’t mean that we should not say yes to anything but the thing is to be aware of when to say No. Not every situation we come across is single routed, There can be different reactions to each situation and each reaction has different circumstances to face. Depending on the circumstances we need to choose either yes or no. But while choosing so, our emotions will play with our minds.

Let us assume that my boss/colleague called me and assigned me a task which is not my responsibility and asked to finish that. That task will be a burden for me as I already have mine to complete. I would like to say No, but my mind starts saying ” if you say No then you will lose the impression/ Good will that he has on you” and again if you think of saying yes then it says ” if you say yes today, this will go on forever”.

Now what do I do? Say Yes or No!

Confusing right ! Now we have to decode the situation. Think of your preferences and circumstances. If you prefer your personal life over your work then you should say No and vice-versa. So everytime keep a track of your preferences. Sometimes the circumstances you are going to face by saying No are to be brooded over. If my boss is a sadist, then he would definitely hold my promotion or growth in my position and my professional life will definitely be affected. So in that case my answer will change to Yes.

How to decide between Yes or No?

Analyze your situation
Make your preferences
Keep an eye on the circumstances
Go with either preferences or circumstances
Depending on step 4 say Yes or No

Up till now everything is fine. We know when to say Yes and when to say No and also how to choose one of them in a situation. The problem here is that our brain is already programmed to listen to our emotions rather than our situation and logic. So how to make it habituate saying No is very important.

How to habituate saying No?

Habituation of saying No is not that easy but if you follow my tip regularly then you will definitely get habituated and as I said at the beginning, the empire which is yours will be in your control. Before saying No to anyone you have to be brave enough because all the situations will not be between you and your boss. Some situations will demand you to live or die in such cases you have to take the risk and have to choose life.

So to be brave enough, first you must learn how to say No to yourself. For instance, I am a student and I need to complete a particular chapter and I feel bored after finishing a part of it. Then my naughty brain will give an idea to go out, relax, have a coffee and come again to complete the chapter. If I listen to it, for sure there is no coming back to study. So there I have to say No to my brain and continue to sit to study.

In the same way whenever your emotions and brain try to distract you from the particular task, go on saying No to them. Then your reflexes will be sharpened and you can easily analyse the situation and say No to anyone or anything. Saying No to one self is tougher than saying No to someone else. If you have a doubt you can try that out.

We are not done yet. Before you practice and habituate saying No, remember that first you have to understand and habituate the acceptance of No from others. As you have the right to say No, the other person too deserves that right and you need to accept that politely and that makes you a matured person.

“Please remember that you have right to say No only if you have courage to accept it from others”

If you try that then please definitely share your experiences with us in comment section or write us at risetoknow@gmail.com

Not only your experiences if you have any situation that you are confused to decide on, you can reach out to us and we will definitely try to make it easy for you to solve.

By K L V Saivardhan Reddy